Drugačna si, ne spadaš sem. Stavek kateri me je v mislih spremljal večino življenja.
Nekaj časa drugačna od normalnih, kasneje pa normalna med drugačnimi.
Kaj pa sem sedaj? Sem drugačna ali normalna?
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Starši so me od nekdaj vzgajali kot normalnega in vsakdajega otroka, le da je koža tega otroka potrebovala veliko več nege in pozornosti, kot koža vsakdanjega otroka. In to sem tudi bila. Bila sem normalna in vsakdanja deklica, ki je oboževala roza barvo, bleščice in je strigla svoje barbike dokler ni bilo več kaj striči.
Vse to je trajalo do vstopa v osnovno šolo, kjer so normalni otroci z vsakdanjo kožo opazili mene, normalno deklico z ne tako vsakdanjo kožo. Takrat pa se je v meni prvič prebudil dvom o moji normalnosti/drugačnosti.Žaljivke otrok ne vedočih kaj lahko te pustijo na posamezniku so me prizadele. Prizadele so me do te meje, da sem želela preostanek svojega življenja preživeti med štirimi stenami, vendar mi tega plana ni uspelo izvesti zaradi mojih staršev, ki česa takega še v sanjah nebi dopustili (za kar sem jim danes nadvse hvaležna).Ko sem se kasneje nekako sprijaznila z mojo drugačnostjo med normalnimi pa je napočil čas srednje šole. Čas ko naj bi človek zažarel in pričel kreirati skico za svoje nadaljnjo življenje. Takrat ne vedoč kaj bo tista, na prvi pogled odlična zamisel naredila mojemu mentalnemu in fizičnemu zdravju, smo se odločili za vpis v fizično prilagojeno šolo najstnikom s posebnimi potrebami oziroma drugačnim.
Vendar je le-ta bila veliko več kot to (v slabem smislu).
Ker sem obiskovala redno in normalno osnovno šolo v mojem rojstnem kraju, sem bila navajena na popolnoma redni pouk, nikakršnega popuščanja zaradi moje drugačnosti. Bila sem tretirana, kot vsak drug učenec.
Ta šola pa je bila popolno nasprotje. Bili smo kot da bi bili zaprti v kupuli pred normalnim svetom, bili smo tretirani kodda smo mentalno zaostali.
Takrat se je vse obrnilo. Moja drugačnost se je sprevrgla v normalnost. Normalna med drugačnimi.Samo za “update”, po letu in pol sem se prepisala.In sedaj, po vseh teh letih sprenevedanja kam spadam sem končno odkrila. Postala sem tisto, za kar sem bila vzgojena.
Sedaj sem zgolj in samo normalno in vsakdanjo dekle katere koža potrebuje veliko več nege in pozornosti, kot pa koža vsakdanjega dekleta in vesela sem, da sem sedaj odkrila in da lahko rečem, da sem končno normalna med normalnimi.
Živim svoje povsem normalne sanje najstnice, precej ambiciozne najstnice, ki želi v življenju doseči dosežke s svojo normalnostjo in ne drugačnostjo.

You’re different, you don’t belong here. Phrase that was in my mind most of my life.
For a while different from normal, later normal among different.
What am I now? Am I different or normal?
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Parents have always raised me as a normal and everyday child, just that the skin of this child needed much more care and attention than the skin of an everyday child. And that’s what I was. I was a normal and everyday little girl who adored pink color, glitter and she was cutting hair of her barbies as long as there was no more to cut.
All this lasted until I entered elementary school, where normal children with everyday skin noticed me, a normal girl with not so everyday skin. And back then, for the first time doubt about my normality/difference woke up.Offensive words of children that didn’t know how they could affect on the individual. They affected me to this limit, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life between the four walls, but I did not manage my plan because of my parents, they wouldn’t allow something like that, even in dreams (for witch I’m very grateful to them today).When I later somehow accepted my difference among normal, the time for the high school started. The time when a person should glow and begin to create a sketch for his future life. At that time, not knowing what that, at first sight excellent idea will do to my mental and physical health, we decided to sign in school witch is adjusted for teenagers with special needs or different ones.
But it was much more that that (in the bad way).
Since I attended a regular and normal elementary school in my hometown I was used to regular class with zero indulgence because of my difference. I was treated like any other student.
This school was totally opposite. It was like we were closed in a cupola away from the normal world, we were treated as if we were mentally behind.
Then everything turned around. My difference turned into normality. Normal among different.Only for “update”, after a year and a half I transfer to another school.And now, after all these years of wondering where I belong I finally discovered. I became what I was raised for.
Now I’m just and only a normal and everyday girl which skin needs much more care and attention than the skin of an everyday girl and I’m glad that I’ve now discovered and that I can say I’m normal among normal.I live my perfectly normal dream of a teenager, an ambitious teenager who wants to achieve achievements in her life with her normality and not difference.
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